Dating a guy who’s revealing himself to be the jealous or insecure type want to know how to navigate his insecurities with minimal effort on your part let’s dig into that together right now.
So you’ve been dating a guy who’s beginning to reveal his cards to be the insecure type, what do you do? well it turns out that this is actually one of the easier issues I deal with when it comes to my clients who come to me and say he wants to read my texts or he followed me out on a girls night, now I’m about to give you that three things you need to show a man for him to trust you, and these are gonna be the only three things a stable adult man will need to see from you in order to trust you, beyond these three things he’s asking too much of you, and he better tread lightly and get his issues under control but first understand all men deal with insecurities at some point in our lives, in fact it’s how they deal with it and overcome it that would give anybody insight into their character and their value system, you have a unique perspective here because you are gonna put him to the test, and not only do you get to see if he’s gonna sink or swim you get to see firsthand his decision-making abilities and how these could affect your future with him as his partner, pretty awesome stuff if you think about it, and the cost for you to see all this is quite low very little sweat off your back, why? because it’s on him 100% so first what are the three and only three things you need to prove to him for him to trust you.
Are you reliable specifically? do you show up for dates on time? do you get back to his text messages? now ironically we get burned by people on this one all the time from flaky friends to people that just won’t commit to anything, this is the single easiest one to nail just show up and be consistent that’s all that’s required, if you can show a guy a track record of reliability and give him that constant in your relationship that’s one trust lover that now slides in your favour, reliability in my opinion is one of the three tripod legs in the foundation of trust.
Now no one likes a taker, but being too much of a giver can also work against you, giving too much in a relationship could mean that you’re a doormat, or that you have ulterior motives and are trying to cover up behavior that you feel guilty about, so try to have a gift take ratio in a relationship that’s fairly balanced, now this isn’t about keeping score with them about who paid for what date and that type of thing, this is about your partner seeing you as an equal contributor to the relationship and that your equal contribution is something that you choose to give without reservation, and it makes you happy to do so.
Disclosure is similar to balance but this specifically pertains to the level of intimate detail you’re willing to share with him within your relationship, disclosure breeds intimacy, intimacy breeds trust, so if you’re both naturally progressing equally with disclosure in the relationship he should grow to see that you have nothing to hide, in just a little caveat here women have a much easier time with self disclosure than men do, so don’t hold this against them it isn’t really coming out right away you’ll get there I promise.
So you have reliability balance and disclosure this is the trifecta or the tripod of trusts, you give him these three things he shouldn’t expect you to prove yourself in any other way, what do I mean here? well guys that are insecure sometimes asks for silly things like reading your texts and your emails because maybe he got cheated on in a previous relationship, now if your guy is making unreasonable requests like this you must not give in to them, these insecurities are not your fault this is something that he has to deal with look, if he’s a little jealous that can honestly be healthy for your relationship, it keeps him on his toes with you and it keeps him from taking you for granted and that’s a good thing, what’s not good is all the other stuff him grilling you when you come back from a girls night out, you want to be supportive but you want to let his crazy be his crazy, you want to let him know hey you know I’m here for you but you need to go talk to someone and get this thing fixed like right now, tell them now I know I’m not contributing to this and I won’t have you telling me that I am, I’ve done everything to the best of my ability to grow a trusting relationship with you, and anything outside of that is beyond what I’m willing to give you, without really pushing my own boundaries, so I’m here to talk and I’m here to listen just don’t be asking me for my emails in my texts, because that’s crazy talk and no matter what’s happening in our relationship, I would never ask you for those things so you shouldn’t be asking them of me, okay sweetie just like that, that was pretty good.